You can agree with someone’s decision, but not the route they took to get there, or the reasons they had for arriving to it.
You can agree with the direction someone’s heading, and then not agree with the destination they choose to stop at.
You may not always get a say in someone’s decision, or they may not do what you suggest even if you do express your opinion or share wisdom around it.
What I can confidently say though is that you should *always* bring in trusted outside wisdom when making life decisions.
I’m talking BIG decisions (moving, changing careers, getting married, etc…), not the day-to-day choices.
You don’t need external validation when deciding which jacket to wear that day (although it’s fun to have a hype girl who knows fashion when you’re choosing) or when ordering your coffee (although hearing what others enjoy can be helpful if you’re looking to try something new).
You don’t need a chorus of echos cheering on your decision if they are not healthy examples of the life you want to live.
If they’re crabs who are trying to keep you in the bucket (iykyk), they ain’t the ones to go to for advice.
You don’t need to watch a bunch of “prophetic” videos that line up with what you want to boost a decision you already made (I had to call this one out).
You don’t need dozens of people telling you what you should do.
You need a few, tried and true, trusted voices from people who care about you – people who will seek God with and for you, and who will speak wisdom into the situation (even at the risk of disrupting what you’re hoping to hear, and even if what they share upsets you).
And, to top it off, you need to be willing to LISTEN to them. Even, and especially, when what they say ruffles your feathers.
It doesn’t mean you blindly do exactly what they say. But if they’re trusted (unbiased) people, who have your best interest at heart, you should be able to trust that they’re bringing something to you for your consideration because it’s worth considering.
Does it mean you may end up making a different decision than you originally thought? Yes, it does.
Does it mean you might be faced with additional layers to walk through before you make your final decision? Yes, it does.
Does it mean you may have to backtrack a bit and circle back around to this decision later? Yes, it does.
Does it add to your peace to know that you were thorough and honest in your decision-making process? Yes, it does.
Does it subtly heap on anxiety when we make decisions on our own, based on feelings and hunches and, dare I say, “hearing from God” without drawing others in? Yes, it does.
When making decisions, you HAVE to welcome in sound wisdom or you’re really setting yourself up for a weakened approach.
It doesn’t mean the decision you’re leaning towards is wrong if you don’t bring others into it. But you’re left in a very vulnerable spot if you make a decision without others.
If you make the decision alone, you often have the face the consequences alone.
I’ve found that when we make decisions WITH others, there are fewer consequences AND you have people backing you.
If you’re in the midst of a big life decision, my encouragement to you is to invite trusted people into that decision and allow them to poke holes if needed.
We all have blind spots, and we need to be able to let others point them out so we’re not blindsided by things.
Decisions need not (and should not) be made alone!
P.S. Telling people the decision you already made is NOT the same as inviting them into the decision-making process…
