If you believe (or promote) ANY of these things, YOU’VE GOT SOME HEALING TO DO ????
Men are toxic
Men are lazy
Men can’t be trusted
Men will always hurt you
Men aren’t safe
Men are pigs
Men only want one thing
Men will use you and toss you aside once they got what they want
Men are actually really wonderful ✨
And, let’s not pretend that women haven’t caused just as much pain in people’s lives ????
This isn’t a men vs women conversation.
This is a “wickedness exists, and it will infiltrate anyone – no matter the age, gender, background, upbringing, race, experience, or tolerance of that person” conversation.
“Our fight is not with people. It is against the leaders and the powers and the spirits of darkness in this world. It is against the demon world that works in the heavens.” -Ephesians 6:12
If you’re blaming another human for the ways you’ve been hurt, your blame is misguided, and you’re torturing yourself.
Evil is very real. And there’s no question you’ve been impacted by it. Most people have even been tormented by it.
But fighting humans will only result in exhaustion, disappointment, and remaining caught in your past.
There’s no benefit in attacking men’s character and pointing out how they fall short.
You’re only causing yourself to miss out on the blessings men can be in your life, by eliminating all of them through a calloused blanket statement.
This isn’t to diminish the deep pain, betrayal, and horrific experiences you’ve perhaps had, where men were involved.
This isn’t to excuse their behavior, or deny that they partnered with wickedness to attack or abuse you.
But that’s not an accurate representation of all men, and if you’re living under that (understandable) delusion, then this is an invitation to start to shift your perspective, and recognize that men actually can be pretty awesome (even if the behavior of some really isn’t).
Here’s a practical thing you can do to start combatting the lies that “all men are ___.” Anytime you interact with a man, find something about that interaction you appreciate.
Whether it’s the store clerk, or the waiter, or a stranger you pass on the street, find ONE thing you appreciate about them.
Just one thing. It can be tiny, and it may feel even ridiculous to acknowledge this to yourself, but choosing to find ONE thing will help disrupt the (thus-far-uncontested) lies that “all men are___.”
ONE thing. You don’t have to tell them. But consciously recognize it, and you’ll start to see things shift.
You’ll start to realize that you no longer have internal prickles when you are approached by a man.
You’ll start to experience internal peace, because you won’t constantly be in a place of conflict.
You’ll start to find twice as many opportunities for joyful experiences, because you’re not eliminating half of the population from contributing to them.
Forgiving the person (or people) who hurt you so deeply is the next step, and one I’ll deeply encourage.
But for now, start with ONE thing you appreciate, and we can go from there.
