So, some of you know (and now the rest of you are about to) that I’ve really been struggling, this last year especially, with feeling lackluster about life. Full blown (“high functioning”) depression. Lots of loss has happened, and the weight of pretending it wasn’t getting to me so I could show up for others was exhausting. I would wake up early, work terribly long hours in front of my computer, eat crap food, and then go to bed. That was my life … every single day. I am so grateful to be able to say that I’ve had an amazing support system throughout all of this (you know who you are) ❤ but I wasn’t letting it in. I was so sick of waking up, day in and day out, working my butt off, and going nowhere. I was stuck. I wanted out but didn’t know what to change to get there. To be completely honest, I didn’t even know what exactly I wanted (or I was too scared to admit it to myself), I just knew I was DONE with that blah existence. I was sick of just surviving and wanted to start thriving. A couple of months ago I got on a call with a dear friend, mentor, and one of the most amazing women I know (Devani Freeman – I’m so in love with you, babe!), and she listened as I poured my heart out. I talked and sobbed and thank God she followed her heart and gave me the opportunity to step into one of the most life changing experiences I’ve ever had. It was on that very call that I decided to finally take a step forward, toward my new life. It was on that call that I decided to join Ascension Leadership Academy, and I haven’t looked back since.

I just recently got back from a super powerful weekend down in San Diego with that phenomenal group of humans (thank you, Brad and Jenna for sharing this with us!), who are all stepping it up and taking themselves on. While there, it was made eerily clear to me that MY next step was very simple. My next step was to begin taking better care of myself and learn to love myself. We’ve all heard it before, that in order to love others, and have them love us, we must first truly love ourselves. It’s not rocket science…. I actually think it’s harder than that ? However, I’m committed to it. I’ve got my support system in place, holding me accountable, and I’m letting all of you in on this, too. Mostly, I’m hoping it will inspire you. But also, selfishly, I really want to keep moving forward, and knowing that I’ve put this out for your eyes to see, means I’m sure as heck going to follow through on my word.

As I start this journey, from the inside out, I thought I’d take a few key action steps to really catapult me in the direction I want to go. I joined a local gym here in Walla Walla (shout out to WorthFit Studio and the most amazing / inspirational / loving owner!) to work on my health. See you bright and early tomorrow, Laurita Angulo!! And, to kick start my journey, I wanted a little juice on the outside, too, so I tried something new. I got myself an amped up set of falsies to help me feel my very best as I continue on this journey (shout out to Melissa Brown at Lash Loft Walla Walla). I’m already looking forward to next time! This is so much more than “just my looks” for me!

It’s definitely not an overnight success story, and I have already had moments of wanting to stop, because OUCH! Growing pains really suck (so does the pain of working out when you’re not really in shape)! However, I’m committed to this. I’m going to be a success story, and I’m already really looking forward to the future Susan. A Susan who’s confident, energized, and a shining light for Jesus’ love. A Susan who feels good in the skin she’s in, and who inspires others to feel the same way!

If you’re still reading this, I invite you to comment below and let me know what you’re working on so we can support each other. Tag someone who could use this message, or private message me if you read something you want to chat about ? We each get to have our own journey, and I’m becoming more and more grateful for the one I’m on. Cheers to an awesome “now” and an even brighter tomorrow!!