You don’t need to know the answer before you ask the question. I remember one time I had a boss who shared, very clearly, that the expectation was to show up to them with multiple solutions and what you’d already done towards those solutions – and you weren’t allowed to go to her before that.
Here’s the thing, there’s some wisdom in that, and I appreciate where she was coming from, but there are times where one simply may not understand the problem in a deep enough way to offer or implement viable solutions, or one may be unclear on where to focus, or potentially even has a totally different idea of what the problem is so they’re solving the wrong thing.
But, in an effort to not disappoint, I got trapped in the lie of “having to have it all figured out first” for many years and it was a WASTE OF TIME!
Please save yourself the trouble, and skip ahead to implementing the TRUTHS listed below, and bypass the LIES!
Here are the LIES I believed:
⚠️ I should know this.
⚠️ I’ll look stupid for asking.
⚠️ Let me figure it out first.
⚠️ I’m smart. I can do this. I’d be an idiot for not being able to.
⚠️ They’ll like me more if I only present solutions instead of problems.
THE TRUTH
✅ Transparency is key to any thriving relationship.
✅ Voice your strengths and things you’re still learning.
✅ Requests for support are respected.
✅ Try first, sure – but don’t delay the progress by pretending you’ve got this, if you really need help.
✅ Sometimes it’s not about the solution so much as it is about the journey to get there.
This goes for personal relationships and business relationships.
If someone is shushing you when you try to ask a question, to me, that’s a red flag.
There’s a quote that goes “The truth doesn’t mind being questioned, but a lie does not like being challenged.”
Asking questions should be encouraged, and while there’s a time and a place to recognize when you’re using it as a delay tactic (different topic for another time), you definitely don’t need to know the answer before you ask the question.
