? I’ve been really scrutinizing my life under a microscope lately – call it a mid-life exploration, a scavenger hunt, or a major Spring cleaning – and here’s one thing that’s been really prevalent as I search, scrupulously, for anything that’s getting in my way of my relationship with God.

It’s been more clear to me than ever that I’ve been gifted this blank check season (more free time than ever, after closing out work I enjoyed with awesome clients at the end of 2021 – another story for another time) to experience a more intimate relationship with my Creator than I’ve ever had the luxury before. Cashing in on carte blanche. 

?Did it look at all like what I thought it would? No. Definitely not. When I envisioned getting to have a deeper relationship with God, I envisioned it to be more like life was still happening as normal and God’s and my relationship would be a beautiful dance in and through all of it. What it’s more looked like is all the music stopped, no one else is on the dance floor, and I’m awkwardly realizing it’s time for me and God to do a solo, with the spotlight shining on us, and to a song I’m unfamiliar with ?

Part of it is super cool because it’s like this precious time with God – where our focus is solely on each other, and part of it is not-as-cool because I’m hyper aware of realizing it’s time for me and God to do a solo, with the spotlight shining on us, and to a song I’m unfamiliar with ?

The reason this feels really awkward to me, even though I’m in the presence of the One who knit me together in my mother’s womb – the One who created me so purposefully, with a hope and a future – the One who has good gifts for me, and loves and cherishes me, and considers me precious – is because I’m noticing things in my life that have been causing a disruption in that very relationship, and there’s some embarrassment there.

➤What I’ve concluded is that if it causes a disruption in your relationship with God, it’s either a trauma or an idol. Good or bad. Temporary or permanent. Your choice or not.

? If it’s interrupting your relationship with God, then it’s out of place and needs to be addressed ?

It may have been a traumatic incident that you didn’t pick, and you get to heal from it. Or, it may have been a beautiful, exciting adventure that you did choose, but it’s taken the place of your connection with God.

I’ve experienced both of these things, and this season (while not being at all what I envisioned):

?Is the season where I get to go deeper into all of this stuff than I’ve ever gone before.
?Is the season where I get to learn to let God lead me in a new way.
?Is the season where I get to reassess what (read: WHO) I’m focusing on, and re-stack priorities.
?Is a season where I get to go from a clumsy beginner to a graceful virtuoso (defined as “a person highly skilled in music or another artistic pursuit” which seems so fitting, given that life is a beautiful mixture of art and pursuit).
?Is the season where I’m being refined in the fire, where the diamond emerges from the pressure, where the preparation is taking place for my biggest and best yet!
?Is the season I’m in, and the one I’m learning to navigate.


?I’m declaring this a major season of breakthrough, freedom, victory, flow, and advancement
?I’m declaring that there will be more joy in these following days, weeks, and months than I’ve previously experienced, and that it will last beyond this season
? I’m declaring that my relationship with God will be stronger than ever, and there will be new depth to our connection
?I’m declaring that when I look back at this season, I will see it as the season that forged me, the season that grew me, and the season that gave me what I needed to live my massive life
?I’m declaring this to be a season where I found myself (all of myself) and allowed myself to shine
?I’m declaring that Spring is on its way and the Winter will be over shortly