My experience with a stalker

I didn’t realize I had a stalker until he arrived in my windowless back corner office, unannounced, and locked himself in with me, when no one else was around 
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As a young, impressionable, naïve college girl – it took me awhile to catch onto the fact that he was legitimately stalking me. But by the time it hit me in that moment, it felt too late 
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Thankfully, and by God’s grace, nothing happened (I honestly don’t know how or why, as this man had every advantage, and I was in shock as the “STALKER!! THIS ISN’T SAFE!” realization washed over me)  red flags started flying everywhere!
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As quickly as the terror arrived, he left. Just like that  Only he knew when he would strike next, and I was petrified, knowing that it could be anytime, anywhere – just as it had been for the months leading up to that moment. It was like he just wanted to taunt me and make it clear he could have done something, if he wanted 
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I didn’t feel safe, and I felt completely stupid 
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How could I have not realized this sooner?
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Who could I tell? He was on staff at the college, and I’m just a student.
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Surely this kind of thing happens, and I’m just making too big a deal out of it.
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Here’s where it gets interesting though (I know, you thought *that* was the story!)…. at that time in my life, I had several men in my life of varying degrees of closeness to me – work and personal relationships – and the one I felt closest to is the one I felt most betrayed by  You probably thought the stalker was the bad guy in this story….but allow me to explain.
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I had three significant conversations with those aforementioned men around this whole scenario, and they were as follows  First, I told my boss, because this stalker had cornered me at work and I wanted to make sure I wasn’t ever in the office alone after that. In that conversation, he asked me to share more about my experience, and his countenance showed me that this was even more serious than I had realized….enter the police, for conversation number 2 – where they asked a bunch of questions, gathered timelines and evidence and such, and shared with me what their next steps would be 
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So far, I was feeling listened to, and safe (with them), and like this really mattered…. and now it was time for conversation number 3. This one was personal, and I was nervous to tell him. What would he think of me? What would he DO? I was envisioning him storming onto campus and handling things with the stalker himself  after all, that’s what a good man does, right?
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But what he did had me dumbfounded.
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He told me very plainly to stop the investigation with the police  He was concerned that “if the police go speak to this man at work, that may impact his career.” and just like that, I was spinning in thoughts of disbelief, unimaginable betrayal, and such a deep frustration I can’t seem to put into words 
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“You’re supposed to protect me,” I thought. “YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO CARE ABOUT ME, not about him. You’re supposed to be on my side.”
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Now, before you get too upset on my behalf, let me share with you a couple of things:
▪︎I’ve forgiven him (both the stalker and this man I was going to for support)
▪︎I DID go through with the investigation, and the police handled things from there (stalker exit, stage left, your scene is done)
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The point I want to share with you through all of this is that people will let us down. They will hurt us so deeply. They will unknowingly betray us (I’ve learned that it’s *rarely* malicious). And they will screw up, royally! WE ALL DO 
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But, God. God was with me through all of that. God saw what was happening. God knew the pain I was going through. God protected me. God brought me healing 
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Looking back, it was actually an incredibly stressful and traumatic time in my life that I often forget I went through. But that’s healing, isn’t it? When you can look back at something SO terrible, and have peace and freedom from it  Where it’s not consuming your thoughts on the regular. I’ve not blocked it from my memory (that’s *not* healing), and I’m not dismissing the severity of his actions in my life, but I’m free.
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Friends, if you’ve walked through something really terrible give it to God It’s not too late for Him to move mightily in your life. It’s not too late for Him to heal. It’s not too late to get a fresh perspective. It’s not too late to forgive (FYI, forgiveness is for you, not for them). It’s not too late.
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 Pour your heart out to Him. It’s not too late.
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Hoping this brings you some freedom, and that you can know you’re not alone in walking through tough, uncomfortable, awful things and making it through to the other side…and also thriving and actually enjoying life! 
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AND, if you’re wanting someone to be in your life, cheering you on, and encouraging your continued growth into full blown Successful Babe status (where your past enhances your future, it doesn’t define it), then tag me below and I’ll hook you up with details on my upcoming Growth and Grace membership  We talk about ALL the things, and help you live your best life NOW, so you can also enjoy it later!
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XO