Past failures are NOT good future filters.
And before you get your panties in a bunch because “there’s no such thing as “failure” just “learning through experience” 🙄” Chill.
Failure IS actually a real thing (/ˈfālyər/ noun: lack of success, the omission of expected or required action, the action of state of not functioning – thank you, Oxford Languages), but it doesn’t have to be a bad thing…IF you choose to learn from it. Failure is mostly dangerous if you start attaching your identity to it.
I digress. What I want to truly focus on here is how, if we choose to NOT learn from past mistakes (and instead identify ourselves AS the mistake), we are now seeing our future through a tainted filter.
If you’re only looking at the future through the filter of “this did NOT work in the past” then you’re missing out on seeing what’s possible. You’re bypassing all of the things that DID work in the past, and you’re ignoring the fact that the future can be different than the past.
Notice what you disqualify yourself from in advance (the future) because of what you think about yourself (based on the past).
Notice it, and then KNOCK IT OFF!!
You CAN have a future that doesn’t look like your past. Things CAN be different. It CAN change. But if you’re not willing to let go of past failures, then it’s going to be an uphill battle.
It takes enough energy as it is to climb to the mountain tops – no need to lug extra baggage around with you while you’re at it.
Leave the suitcase behind and take only what you need for the journey. The lessons you learned are like the necessary gear, but the pain and victim mentality from the past are like packing extra rocks in your pack, just because.
You don’t need ‘em. They’re not doing an ounce of good. They’re making things more difficult than they need to be. And your future will have rocks enough without you needing to bring any more into it.
Stop looking at your bright future through the tainted lens of past failures.
You can’t change what happened, but you can change how you think about what happened, and how you approach things moving forward.
It’s up to you, babe. It’s all up to you.