?Reminiscing about some things I’ve walked through and overcome, and I have some thoughts.

?If 2021 Susan could share something with 2018 Susan (and other ladies), she’d say something to the tune of….

?SINGLE LADIES, if his *ACTIONS* are not showing you honesty or healthy, respectful behavior, IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT HIS WORDS ARE SAYING.

?It took multiple heartaches before this one really landed for me. It’s wayyyyy too easy to hear what you want to hear, instead of what’s actually being said, and then get really good at ignoring red flags.???

?‍♀️Well, red flags don’t always show up as blatant abuse. Sometimes the red flag is him saying things (things you so desperately want to hear), and then his actions don’t match his (unintentionally misleading) words….

?And gentleman, I am well aware this goes both ways, and women are not exempt from behaving this way, so don’t get your briefs in a bunch.

?But I implore you to listen to their ACTIONS and give them so much more attention than you give their words!

?I believe there are lots of people saying things that they would really *like* to believe themselves, and they just aren’t there yet (emotionally or maturity-wise). They’re not actually trying to hurt or manipulate or lie.

?‍♀️But if their actions aren’t backing up their words………well, you can only ignore red flags for so long before you’re buried and suffocating under the weight of them.

❌Red flags ARE red, even if you paint them white.
❌Red flags ARE red, even if you look in a different direction.
❌Red flags ARE red, even if you’re being told they’re blue.
❌Red flags ARE red, even if it’s a hazy day and you can’t see them.

?My girl, watch his ACTIONS and plug your ears if you need to? There are lots of really good men who just aren’t at a spot where they’re *truly* wanting to be in a mature relationship, and you are worthy of one who is!

?Mei Lu