Apologies aren’t about saying “I’m sorry” – they’re about taking ownership for YOUR part in the dilemma that’s happening.
? I’m sorry that we even met!
? I’m sorry you couldn’t control your temper!
? I’m sorry that I ever took this lousy job!
? I’m sorry for your ignorance!
? I’m sorry you think that!
? I’m sorry…..
You can see how completely empty, apathetic, or even accusatory those words can be, when they’re followed by some (lame!!) reason you’re forcing an “apology” out of your mouth.
Don’t even bother wasting your time. You’re just making things ? worse ?
If you *actually* want to apologize, in an attempt to repair something that’s damaged, then I recommend starting with “I’d like to apologize, and ask your forgiveness for _______” and then fill in the blank with something YOU did that contributed to the dilemma.
This is NOT the time to deflect and point out what THEY did. That’s up to them, and you have to square with the fact that they may never understand the role they played in the dilemma. They may never utter the words “I’d like to apologize…” and they may never even acknowledge that there’s a dilemma happening
Apologizing is not to be used to manipulate the situation and pretend to be the bigger person.
If you’re really wanting things to shift, a genuine apology can help shift your heart, which impacts your perception of the situation. So, even if the other party wants nothing to do with an apology (giving or receiving), it can still bring your freedom.
Ditch “I’m sorry!” and trade it in for “I’d like to apologize and ask your forgiveness for _______” and watch your world change!