You might be a redneck if……no, kidding. I’ll let Jeff Foxworthy keep that line of detailing. I want to talk about being a people pleaser.
You might be a people pleaser if:
? as soon as you share your opinion, and someone else shares a different one, you start justifying and shifting yours to more closely resemble theirs
? you hold your tongue instead of speaking up because you don’t want to upset someone, disrupt the general consensus, or have people judge you
? you go along with whatever the crowd is doing, even though you don’t align with it, because you don’t want to risk potentially losing friends
? other people’s influence on you is greater than your own influence on you and it has you compromising your beliefs
? you spend your life “on the fence” and in indecision because you’re gripped by fear of what others may think
And while it’s not a bad thing to please people, it shouldn’t be our gauge of whether we’re being a good person, a loving friend, or a great leader!
Have you ever found yourself in a conversation that went something like this?
YOU: “Oooh, I love that new song from_____!”
THEM: “really? I couldn’t get into it.”
YOU: “oh, well, I mean, I can totally see why you’d say that. I think I just was maybe in a mood the other day where it struck a chord. I’m not sure that it’s one I’d necessarily gravitate towards on a normal day…”
I’m not talking about world-changing, life or death conversations. I’m talking about small moments throughout your day that may sound something like the example above.
You don’t need to justify your opinion.
BUT, if you’re looking to change this and really hold your own, I’ll suggest making a simple shift when these kinds of opportunities arise. It could be something like this:
YOU: “Oooh, I love that new song from_____!”
THEM: “really? I couldn’t get into it.”
YOU: “It surprised me, too – but it really struck a chord when I heard it!”
Notice that you don’t need to lie or pretend or be a brat about it. You can simply shift how you respond and still stick to your guns.
My challenge to you is to notice next time you start to give way, and stand yourself back up with a quick adjustment to your response.
Just like growing a muscle, it may take time before this is natural and flows with ease, but I’m a walking testament to the fact that it IS possible!
And, preemptive warning – not everyone will love that you’re doing this, but those who will be of value in your life will adjust and get on board with the new, empowered you!
