LADIES, here me loud and clear on this…I’ve had men break up with me. Ghost me. Hate me. Hit me. Stalk me. Cheat on me. Lie to me. Reject me. Turn away when I needed support. Take advantage of me. Deny the love I tried to give them. Make fun of me publicly – belittling me in front of my friends – embarrassing me horribly. Challenge my authority and undermine my leadership. I’ve had men show me first hand that “hurt people hurt people.”
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AND, I’ve had men who genuinely loved me. Bring me fresh flowers each time we saw each other. Take care of me when I was sick. Encourage me. Comfort me when I was heartbroken. Guide me when I was lost. Spend time with me, just because they wanted to. Lead me gently and show me how to have tough conversations with grace, and ease. I’ve had men show me how to lead teams, and handle tricky situations with tact and confidence. Take patient time to teach me things I didn’t know. Protect me. And speak life into me.
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Each one of these men has left an indelible mark on my life, one way or the other. I can think of a very specific example for each of these >>> some of which are wounds I’ve had to heal from, and some of which have opened up new levels in life for me. Some of them have been cycles I’ve lived through with multiple men, and some of these were one-off experiences.
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My charge to you is to CHOOSE LOVE – even though you’ve been hurt before. Choose to be vulnerable – even though you’ve been hurt before. Choose to believe the best in people – even though you’ve been hurt before.
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This does NOT mean you should keep putting yourself in unhealthy situations, with toxic people, and hope for the best. It DOES mean that even though you have been hurt before, there is life beyond the wound. It DOES mean that there are incredible, wonderful, amazing men out there, and THEY do not deserve to be punished, banished, wounded, and rejected because of that ONE man who hurt you that one time. If you find yourself saying “All men are ________.” or “I will never trust a man.” or “Men will always hurt you.” or anything along those lines, I caution you. You are absolutely stopping the flow of TRUE love into your life. You’ve been wounded, I get it. Same, girl. Same. I’m not here to diminish that your wounds are real, that you really have been hurt, and that the pain sucks. BUT STOP LETTING IT ROB YOU OF AN INCREDIBLE FUTURE!!!
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Stop letting the pain take away from the beauty that’s available to you. Choose to grow, heal, and love through all of it! I promise it’s worth it!
Choosing love after pain
