This one’s for all of my Christian advice givers out there who just jump in with an opinion before hearing with the heart (insert facepalm here).
Now, before you get your panties in a bunch, let me say – some of the BEST wisdom I’ve ever received has been from Christian mentors.
But the Christian advice givers have been a source of some of the clumsiest attempts of encouragement I’ve ever heard ????
What I’m about to share is right at the top of the list of things NOT to say to someone who’s single and looking forward to marriage…..It’s an absolute FAIL!!
“Just let Jesus be your husband.”
Okay, first of all – it’s like the laziest response you could give ????
Yes, God is the answer. He truly is. BUT, that ain’t helpful here. It’s showing that you have no regard for the gravity of what was just shared with you.
Second, it’s such a calloused response to the heartache that’s going on.
Third, we do realize that this season is a blessing and gives us the opportunity to spend more time with Jesus, and build out intimacy with Him. That’s a WONDERFUL thing.
But it does not take away the desire, or “fix” the fact that we are looking forward to something that hasn’t happened yet.
I was talking with a girlfriend the other day, and we were talking about ways we stay positive while we’re waiting to get to do life with our husbands.
Praying for our husbands, seeking wisdom from happily married folks, having trusted ears we can speak with when we’re having down days, encouraging podcasts, etc…
And one of the TOP ways that we’ve both felt let down by people’s attempts at encouragement has been that daggone phrase “Just let Jesus be your husband.”
Honestly, you lose me after that. I can’t hear anything else you’re saying because you just eliminated my respect. I am internally having to remind myself “don’t make grimace face – they’re trying to be encouraging. Have grace, Susan. Have GRACE!” and so my thoughts are consumed with trying to be polite and I’ve not heard the rest of what you said.
Now, I can’t imagine ANYONE in their right mind EVER saying to a woman who’s wanting to have children but hasn’t been able to “Just let Jesus be your baby.”
Can you even fathom the slap in the face that would be to someone who is doing what she can, but (for whatever reason) doesn’t have that blessing yet?!?!
It’s RIDICULOUS – and yet, it’s tossed around so flippantly to someone who’s also waiting on someone meaningful.
It’s not really fitting in any scenario.
“Just let Jesus be that business you want to create.”
“Just let Jesus be your dream job.”
“Just let Jesus be ______.”
Jesus is Jesus, and He’s more than enough, and if I never get to get married, and I’ve got Him – I’ve been richly blessed!!
BUT, if God Himself gave you a desire, He’s not going to toy with your emotions and tease you with a desire then not come through.
We’re not meant to put our desires above God, so I’m sure that’s part of what’s being expressed in that “Just let Jesus be your husband” phrase – an effort to remind us not to idolize anything or anyone above God. Right. Got it. But still think of a better response than that.
God is good!
Jesus is wonderful!
Holy Spirit is magnificent!
But please don’t be discouraged out of your desires if someone simply didn’t know how to encourage you into them!!
And, if you’ve ever said this phrase, can I implore you to *please* have a different default phrase you use, because I don’t know one single person that this phrase has actually encouraged or comforted. FYI ????
