I’ve been studying marriage the last few years – learning what I can before I get to step into it.
Not some crash course to cram for a test, but really soaking in and discovering the ins and outs, the ups the downs, the how tos, and the what not to dos.
I’ve been interviewing abundant wives individually, and spending time with married couples to really see first hand what works well, and what those “opportunities for growth” are.
And it’s been fascinating. It’s been so REFRESHING to hear the real, the raw, and the actual stuff that goes down in a marriage, when two become one. Thank YOU to each of the couples who’s really let me IN, for not hiding or Hollywood-ing, pretending everything’s hunky dory.
Marriage is not something to be taken lightly, but it’s also not something that’s meant to be serious 24/7. Marriage can be FUN, and it also takes WORK.
But what’s interesting to me is, there are different kinds of work people put in, and not everyone seems to be aware of the impact their WORK has on their marriage.
The couples I look up to the most have simply found a way to WORK at having fun, being intentional, communicating, and choosing to forgive.
And then there are couples who choose to WORK at making things more difficult (i.e. holding onto grievances, bringing things up from the past that were hurtful, remembering and recalling all of the ways their spouse irritates them – and sharing those annoyances with others, comparing your marriage to the unrealistic ones that Hollywood movies present, etc.)
Both approaches are WORK, but only one of them will contribute to health, building, and growing together. The other is divisive, harmful, and toxic.
What kind of WORK are you putting into your marriage? It takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile. It’s exhausting to WORK at holding onto wrongs (frown), and while it takes WORK to forgive (smile), that’s the only kind of strength workout that’s going to lead to that kind of marriage you actually want.
No one goes into marriage truly hoping it will fail and bring misery into their life, and yet, if the work that’s being put in is the frowny kind, then that’s what’s going to come out of it.
If you want the dreamy marriage, the kind that grows stronger over time, and is full of joy and appreciation, then you gotta do the WORK it takes to get there, because it’s not just going to happen on its own.
And if you’re reading this, totally recognizing you’ve been working your frown muscles in marriage, and you want to build the smile muscles, then I’m going to encourage you to learn from these amazing abundant wives as I have.
They know what’s up, and they, too, have walked through frowny seasons – and their marriages are now pillars of strength and smiles and real, raw growth. You can listen to my interviews with them here: www.abundantwife.com and I’m confident that you’ll relate to their stories, and you’ll be encouraged by their victories – if it’s possible for them and their marriage, it’s possible for you and your marriage!
The good news is, you’re conditioned to work (as you’ve shown yourself), and we simply get to make some tweaks on which muscle group we’re focusing on.
? Where you’ve been holding on, forgive.
? Where you’ve been berating, encourage.
? Where you’ve been wrestling with the past, let go.
? Where you’ve been hounding, build up.
? Where you’ve been talking, listen.
? Where you’ve been focused on their action, get curious instead about the underlying cause of that action.
? Where you’ve been judgmental, be compassionate.
You’ve got the power to change. You’ve got the power to work FOR it, not against it.
I’m rooting for you, your marriage, and what’s ahead for you and your spouse!!
✨ It’s never too dark for a spark to bring light ✨
